


i can't endure it anymore

by towokuwusatsuwu



Series: Pride 2018: 30 Days of S.W.O.R.D. [9]
Category: HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: “I’m not into anything. These are… These are my clothes, or, well…” Noboru stops speaking, tugging at the shirt now, smoothing it down over the top of the skirt. Cobra imagines his own hand smoothing across that fabric while he kisses down the side of Noboru’s throat. “I want them to be my clothes. I want to dress like this all the time, b-because—”“You can,” Yamato says firmly. “We’ll fuck up anyone who tells you that you can’t.”Noboru sighs at him. “No, Yamato, that’s not what I mean. I mean, thank you, I won’t stop you from sticking up for me because I’m still… Because it’s still hard for me and I only just started fighting again, and I had trouble with Pho last time. I— I want to dress like this because I’m…”Cobra waits patiently, fingers knotted in the bottom of his button-up flannel, watching Noboru struggle, bright brown eyes downcast. “Whatever you need to say, say it. We’ll love you anyway.”





	i can't endure it anymore

The skirt is pink and cotton, material thin enough that light shining directly through the fabric would highlight the soft thighs beneath, the delicate flare of hips. It stops just above Noboru’s knees and Cobra’s mouth is dry at the sight even as his brain fogs over in confusion. Since when does Noboru wear skirts? In the years they had been friends, Cobra never knew Noboru to be interested in such clothing, always preferring shirts and pants, jeans with the knees ripped out on some occasions, and suits during the Kuryu days. Never something so soft and sweet.

Next to him, Yamato sits up slowly, uncurling himself from his slouched position in the corner of the couch. Since they have nothing to do today and none of them were keen on leaving their quiet apartment, opting for an afternoon and evening in, Yamato has not even slicked his hair back. For a moment, Cobra is distracted by him— graceful muscle and sharp features softened by his hair tumbling into his sweet brown eyes. His boyfriend is so beautiful.

“Noboru?” Yamato’s voice is quiet, careful, as if the name itself feels wrong in his mouth. “Uh, a skirt huh? You look great in everything, baby, I just didn’t know you were into—”

Noboru holds up a hand, swallows once. Large brown eyes drift between Cobra and Yamato, as if uncertain, afraid even, and the sight makes Cobra sick. Who would frighten Noboru, make Noboru afraid of him and Yamato? “Don’t. Don’t say it like that.”

Yamato blinks a few times, lifts his hands slowly. “I’m sorry if I said something that hurt your feelings. I didn’t intend that. Why don’t you explain so I’ll understand?”

Cobra thinks that Yamato is very good at this, de-escalating situations, apologizing for words he never meant to say and intentions he never meant to have in a way that sounds genuine, not an apology offered to quickly clear the air and move on. Noboru sighs, brown eyes squeezed shut, fingers curling in the petal pink of the skirt, and Cobra allows his eyes to roam higher.

The skirt is not the only unusual piece of clothing Noboru currently stands before them in. Paired with the skirt is a white sweater, slouchy baggy fabric that falls around Noboru’s torso beautifully, slipping off of one slim shoulder, skin that Cobra wants to run his fingers over. Ever since Noboru had grown up, Cobra found his childhood friend handsome, but this image knocks the oxygen out of his lungs and punches him in the gut. Noboru looks  _ beautiful. _

He wants to hold Noboru in these clothes, feel the soft fabric shirt against softer skin, feel Noboru warm and safe and secure in his arms. Instead, he wets his lips. “Yeah, please explain so we don’t say anything to hurt you. We’d never want to do that.”

Something about the clothing tugs at the back of his mind, and it takes a moment for his brain to catch up with everything else. It’s not the clothing, he realizes, but the  _ white, _ the shape of the outfit, the way it complements Noboru’s slim frame. The clothing was chosen specifically for the purpose of making Noboru look amazing, and either Noboru has been dressing this way for longer than Cobra and Yamato know, or someone picked the clothing out for him.

Cobra knows nothing about Kuryu, but he doubts they would have let Noboru dress this way, not based on the pressed suits, ties knotted tightly and neat cufflinks. Someone had picked out these clothes— Noboru could not have dressed this way in Iemura, and Cobra would have noticed considering the three of them live together. Not only that, but if Noboru is not at his side, then Noboru is with Yamato. There is never a moment where Noboru would be alone.

The  _ white, _ untainted by any other color. Had Kizzy—?

“I’m not  _ into _ anything. These are… These are my clothes, or, well…” Noboru stops speaking, tugging at the shirt now, smoothing it down over the top of the skirt. Cobra imagines his own hand smoothing across that fabric while he kisses down the side of Noboru’s throat. “I want them to be my clothes. I want to dress like this all the time, b-because—”

“You can,” Yamato says firmly. “We’ll fuck up anyone who tells you that you can’t.”

Noboru sighs at him. “No, Yamato, that’s not what I mean. I mean, thank you, I won’t stop you from sticking up for me because I’m still… Because it’s still hard for me and I only just started fighting again, and I had trouble with Pho last time. I— I want to dress like this because I’m…”

Cobra waits patiently, fingers knotted in the bottom of his button-up flannel, watching Noboru struggle, bright brown eyes downcast. “Whatever you need to say, say it. We’ll love you anyway.”

“I— I don’t want to change my name, even if it’s not very feminine-sounding to most people. I like what it means, I want to keep it.” Slender scarred fingers twist the fabric of the shirt and Cobra wants to move, to comfort Noboru. “I’ll be a woman with a man’s name, I suppose, but I want to keep it just the same. Do you think that’s acceptable?”

Yamato’s eyes widen as the words process in his brain; Cobra can see the exact moment when his gaze sharpens, when his lips part in realization. It takes Cobra less time, but he still watches Yamato just the same, wanting to make sure both of them are on the same page about this. Slowly, every so slowly, Yamato turns to look at him, and their eyes lock in the middle, silent communication that few would be able to replicate.

_ We have a girlfriend now. _

_ And we’re going to take care of her. _

Cobra pushes himself up from the couch and Yamato follows suit, both of them rounding the coffee table to meet Noboru on the other side of it. Cobra reaches for her first, fingers skimming up her bare arm before closing around it, pulling her into his chest where he can hold her properly close. Yamato comes around to stand on her other side, his hand touching her face, fingers tracing the line of her cheekbone. And this close Cobra can still see the fear in her eyes even when both of them touch her this gently, this tenderly.

If there was someone in the past who taught her to be afraid of people who would love her, Cobra will find them, and he will kill them. There will be no more mercy.

“Thank you for trusting us.” Cobra leans in to whisper this against her ear and he thinks it’s unfair that he is the shortest person in this relationship. “I speak for us both when I say that we love you just the same and we’ll make sure no one else can hurt you.”

Yamato nods, running his thumb over her lower lip, and Cobra eyes the scar on his hand, scabbed over and healing slowly, left there by one of Jesse’s men. “Exactly. You’re our beautiful girlfriend, Noboru, nothing’s going to change how we feel about you.”

Noboru’s bottom lip wobbles and Cobra takes her chin, turns her head, brings their mouths together to kiss the trembling away. He doesn’t want Noboru to be afraid of them, doesn’t want her to be uncertain of their kindness, love, and acceptance. Her mouth softens against his, her lips opening for him and Cobra kisses her with all the passion he’s kept stored away just for her, hoping against hope she would come home to them one day. And when she shifts against him, soft noises muffled by his tongue in her mouth, he knows Yamato has made a move as well, no doubt kissing her exposed throat, the skin there sensitive to any stimulation.

When Cobra breaks the kiss, Noboru’s eyes are wet but the fear is replaced by something gentler, warmer, and he slips his hand up into her hair. “We’ve got you, baby girl.”

Yamato hums in agreement, resting his chin on Noboru’s shoulder. “Yeah, we do. Just glad you trusted us enough to know we’d hear you out.”

“I… I was sure you would, but I was also afraid that something bad would happen because, you know… It’s hard.” Noboru lowers her head and she looks so guilty it breaks Cobra’s heart, makes him crowd in closer to her, wrapping both of his arms around her. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Noboru. While you were away, you know, Tetsu came out to us and he was pretty afraid we’d throw him out for it, too. Just logical to be afraid over stuff like this, it really is.” Yamato kisses the side of her head, and he closes his eyes as he does, and Cobra wants to kiss him for being so good with words. “But just rest assured we aren’t gonna do that. So you’re our pretty girlfriend, we’re good with that, we accept you. We  _ love _ you.”

“I love you two, too. You’ve done a lot more for me than you can imagine.” Noboru sniffles and leans her head against Yamato’s shoulder, twisting a hand in the sleeve of Cobra’s shirt as if telling him in her own way not to drift too far away from her.

Not that he ever would. He just presses himself against her other side, nosing the side of her neck, breathing in a sweet scent. Perfume? It may be. “We’ll do whatever we gotta do for you, you know that. We’d risk everything for you over and over again.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that again,” Noboru murmurs.

Yamato chuckles and lifts his gaze to meet Cobra’s, and Cobra tilts his head toward the couch. It takes some effort since none of them want to stop touching each other but they eventually settle back on the couch with Noboru between them, her back against Yamato’s side while Cobra pulls her legs up onto his lap, running his hands over her skin. The skirt catches his eye and he lets a hand sneak up, running his fingers over the material.

“Kizzy picked it out for me.” Noboru shifts and Cobra smiles up at her, nodding for her to go on. “I told her I wanted… I wanted to do it like this, dressed in something that made me feel like myself, finally, and she took me somewhere and helped me pick this out. She even paid for it. She wouldn’t let me pay for it myself, said it was a present.”

Cobra chuckles, thumbing over the bottom of the skirt and where it lays against Noboru’s thigh, right above her knee. “That’s not surprising. She’s got a streak in her of helping out people when she gets a chance. I’m glad she was there to help our girl. A real goddess.”

“Now we’ll pick up the slack, do whatever you need for us to do, sweetheart.” Yamato settles an arm around Noboru’s waist and kisses the top of her head, and Cobra doesn’t miss the way she settles into Yamato further, the way he strokes his thumb along her shoulder so tenderly.

“Kizzy’s going to help me get estrogen so I can start taking it. My body’s going to change, you know, I hope that’s fine.” Noboru shifts a little and Cobra strokes her thigh to quiet her. It takes a moment but she relaxes again, soft and pliant between them. “I’m undecided about anything beyond that right now. I’ll figure it out with time, I’m sure. And you’ll both support me?”

“Yes,” Cobra says, at the same moment Yamato says, “Absolutely.”

Noboru smiles a small little smile and closes her eyes, and Yamato shifts a little to lay his cheek against her hair, letting his own eyes fall closed. Cobra watches them without a word, rubbing little circles into Noboru’s skin, keeping her calm and relaxed. She deserves it, no doubt coming down from being so anxiety-riddled over their reactions, but now she can rest, come down from the fear, and let them both love her properly until she never has to be afraid again.

Cobra will do anything for her, and he knows Yamato will too.


End file.
